In this lascivious “hook-up culture” dominating university life, we say we are looking for merely sex - a supposedly simple, easy act. Yet, after observing this culture for a year now, is it really just a simple act of hedonism? It seems to be more: it seems that in our search of carnal, physical pleasure, we encounter further struggles than simply not being attractive or confident enough. We are forced to learn about ourselves in a harsher way.
Scars from the past may not have healed as much as we think they may have. Do we attribute our partners’ bad treatment of us to our own faults or to theirs? Why do we choose men and women considered “inferior” or “superior” to ourselves? Are we doing this for validation or for our own pleasure? For others or for ourselves? Why do we need to objectify others? Why do we avoid certain qualities? Why do we let ourselves be mistreated in such dehumanizing ways? Why, in the search and act of something so shallow and physical, must we cause and endure so much pain?
Through our sexual choices our deep-seated, internalized sexist and racist beliefs emerge that we wouldn’t have addressed otherwise. We find our true level of self-esteem and egotism, and the further results of our disadvantages and privileges; gender, race, and socioeconomic status. We realize how little or how much we’ve escaped the identities assigned to us at birth, and the limitations they’ve placed upon us. We realize part of how our society views us, especially our place in the dominant, majority culture. We realize how much freedom and autonomy in life we truly have.
Who we are sexually attracted to describes characteristics about ourselves we are not always aware of. Who we may desire for just one night, many nights, or years reflects our needs, attitudes, and experiences we either choose to accept or deny. Hardly any of us “just want sex”, deep down inside we want so much more.
How is this discussion STILL happening on my dash? We honestly cannot sit here and bitch about white people not recognizing their privilege when we continue to deny ours.
We as white passing, fair skinned passing, light skinned individuals have privilege.. And to me, at least personally, I do not and have never identified as a PoC or a WoC because when I leave my front door and another person sees me on the street, they do not see a dark skinned Native person, they see a white person and they treat me like a fellow white person unless I otherwise tell them to stfu.
This is a huge part of our privilege and why I believe, we as fair skinned folks, are not PoC. We do not face the same racism and discrimination a darker skinned person does. And I feel like PoC as an identifier should not apply to us for that very reason.
Now, if this is offending you or hurting some delicate fee fees it is time to ask yourself the serious questions. This does not erase who we are, this does not erase our struggles, and this does not erase the things we have went through or the discrimination we face BUT it is and never will be the same as darker skinned people, and there is no reason to try and insert ourselves into these conversations or safe spaces… because we don’t need them on this level.
I get it though, it can be annoying when someone for says “oh you’re x minority? Really? But you’re so white!” I get that. I want to throat punch them too. I also understand that we hear shit that white people would never say I front of a darker skinned person. You know why that happens?
Because they think we are white, because we have white privilege. Understand your privilege and check it, because if you keep denying it, honestly, you are probably a giant hypocrite.
Only enter spaces if you are invited and only enter conversations if you are invited and even then, be very fucking aware of the privilege you have.
Seems like most people at university think I’m white, based on the lack of racial comments and other stuff.
It’s nice to finally talk to people interested in social injustice, especially on forms of it that are hardly recognized. One form of oppression hardly addressed comes with the intersectionality of being female and of color. Objectification for sex AND race together, often based on sexual stereotypes of that particular race. It comes with that condescending, degrading look in the oppressor’s eyes as they search you for their sexual expectations based on your race, done through racial questions and comments said out of context and more. They have a hard, objectifying stare as they see little else beyond those stereotypes, a stare that strips away your individuality, a stare that hypersexualizes you. Being of color makes you more of an object and less of a human being to them.
Women of color are at least twice as likely to be sexually assaulted. In a white-dominated, already misogynistic place like where I live, it doesn’t produce a welcoming, safe atmosphere.
"If a key opens many locks, it's a master key. If a lock is opened by many keys, it's a shitty lock."
I find this quote so problematic. It’s used to justify shaming promiscuous girls. By calling them “locks” you imply that they do not have their own sexual desires, but merely open up to the “keys” of boys. You say they are weak and worthless for not being able to resist something they’re not supposed to like. You say that girls do not pursue boys, because girls do not really feel desire, only boys do, right?
This is stupid. With so many attractive guys around where I live, how do girls not feel attraction? Oh, but guys don’t realize that because “it’s gay to find other guys attractive.”
I love it when people call me “racist” when I say I prefer guys with blonde hair and/or big blue or green eyes. Because I sounds really Aryan, I guess. It doesn’t mean I think ethnic people are automatically unattractive. I am not attracted to blondes because of conforming to white supremacy. If I supported white supremacy, I wouldn’t be trying to get so involved in social activism for next year.
There’s more to what I want. What if I told you that I usually hold out for really nice guys? That’s not the norm, is it? No, neither is being often attracted to guys described by others as awkward, weird, effeminate, and difficult. What if I told you I’ve been attracted to blonde guys who barely speak English? Doesn’t sound so conforming.
Can I just fuck Daario Naharis please? Like honestly. It’s unreal how pretty he is. I hope the actor who plays him hair is really that long. My ovaries. I don’t think i’ve ever felt this way towards a fictional person before. ahhh